so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
