I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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