the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize