Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
