That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
