ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
