I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
