I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
