Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
