UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
