ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
