they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
