How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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