Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
