Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
