k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
