Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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