Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
