Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
