I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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