I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
