Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
