So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
