she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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