she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
