things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
