You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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