Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
