yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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