perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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