We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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