AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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