Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
