she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
