it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
