woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
