Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
