What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
