Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
