No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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