You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
