Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Michael Bay diarrhea
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
