They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
