you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
