im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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