We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
