i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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