loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you never un-have a 4some
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
