I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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