My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
