at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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