Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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