what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
