Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
