look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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