dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
