so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You don't make any sense
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