I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
