how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
