Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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