If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
