This is not my ceiling
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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