so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
