I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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