I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the day after is always just damage control
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
