Yo dont text me then not text me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
