Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My vagina just recognized that song.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
