Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize